This past Easter seemed to zip by me with little time taken to pause and truly reflect on the meaning of the resurrection of Jesus. As I have spent more time meditating on it this week, I have found myself more and more thankful for what God did for me in the death of His Son.
As I have recently blogged, our first daughter, Magdalena Grace, has some very severe birth defects and it looks like she probably won't live for very long outside of the womb, if she makes it to term at all. We are devastated. This is certainly the hardest thing that Julie and I have had to deal with. However, we have grown closer to each other with a greater strength and intimacy and hopefully a deeper faith in the goodness and sovereignty of God. We don't presently know why this is happening to us, but we can still trust God that this will all work together for good.
As I was thinking about Easter and the resurrection, I was given a deep sense of peace that what Jesus accomplished on the cross for us bought the promises of God that are so precious to me. When Julie and I look at the prospect of spending the next five months in a pregnancy that will not produce a healthy little girl, but one that will almost certainly die soon, it seems overwhelming and too painful. This is more true for Julie than it is for me since she is physically carrying the baby, but it is very hard for both of us. But then I consider the glorious promises of God for us that I can find peace, hope and even joy in all of it.
"His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning." (Lamentations 3:22-23) We don't have to take the load of all five months today. That would be daunting and impossible to deal with. But every morning we can find new stores of mercies waiting for us to get us through that day.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (II Corinthians 12:9) We are certainly weak right now, but He will meet our needs and give us His perfect grace which will be enough to get us through. We just need to trust in God's future grace that will be there when we need it.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) Probably my favorite promise in the whole Bible. This verse has been in my mind through so many things. This is promise to build a life on!
"Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you." (Psalm 55:22) It is so wonderful to have a God that promises to sustain us when our burdens are so heavy and our hearts are breaking.
"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16) What do we need more right now than to receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of tremendous need. That last phrase can also be translated as "for a well-timed help" which carries the sense of coming at just the right moment when we need it. What a great promise!
These are just a few promises that are found throughout God's Word. I am so thankful that Jesus bought those promises for us on the cross so that we can bank on them now in our time of deep need. Please pray for us that, as we don't pretend to understand God's plan in all of this, we will find a great comfort in Him and find our ultimate satisfaction and joy in Him alone. Thanks!
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3 comments:
Hi Noah,
I got here from Gavin's blog. I just read this post about your unborn daughter, and I wanted to say how sorry I am. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I wanted to pass along to you a website at http://www.nancyguthrie.com/
Nancy is a friend of the Ortlund family, and has a book called Holding on to Hope, in which she talks about the diagnosis of her daughter Hope with Zellweger syndrome, and then her son Gabriel as well. The book is filled with understanding, as well as the faith journey of Nancy and her husband. I have a copy I could send to you if you can't find it.
Also, you can find a message board at www.babycenter.com called Down Syndrome--I think you would find a lot of understanding and support there.
Blessings on you in this difficult time, Erin Ortlund
Erin, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and compassion, as well as the websites. You are so sweet! I will check out the websites and maybe the book as well. Thanks for the offer of sending it me! I will let you know. All of this support and access to such great is so wonderful and encouraging. As you can imagine, any encouragement and support is such a blessing and greatly appreciated by Julie and me.
Thanks again!
You're welcome! I hope you continue to blog about this journey. There are so many parents out there going through similar things. Blessings, Erin
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